Full House Scripts - Season 6

Teaser:

We find Jesse in the twins' bedroom...
Jesse: Goodnight, and I can't say it enough. Sleep tight.
Alex: Goodnight daddy.
Jesse: Sweet dreams, bye bye. (The twins lie down) Sweet dreams. (He closes the door of the twins' room)
Becky: I can't believe we're actually alone.
Jesse: Do you hear that ?
Becky: Peace and quiet ?
Jesse: Right.
We find the boys climbing out of their beds...
Becky: Uh honey, why don't we get more comfortable ?
Jesse: I'm comfortable with that.
They jump on their bed. The twins run out of their bedroom, towards Jesse and Becky, while giggling...
Becky: Hey, wait a minute. How did you guys passed out of your cribs, huh.
Jesse: I know what happened. I think when the guards weren't looking, they tightened their diapers together and run over the wall

We find Vicky and Danny in the Tanners' front room. A taxi horn beeps twice
Vicky: Oh, there's my cab.
Danny: Oh, I wish you didn't have to go so soon.
Michelle and Stephanie enter
Michelle: Dad!
Stephanie: Dad!
Michelle: Dad!
Stephanie: Dad! Would you tell her that I get the cherry candy?
Michelle: No, I get the cherry candy.
Stephanie: No, I get it.
Michelle: I get it. I'm...
Danny: Wait, wait, wait. Girls, girls, girls, hold it. There are two candies here. Okay, now one of you gets the cherry one, and the other one gets the nut cluster.
Michelle: Nuts make me gag.
Danny: Here, Steph, you can hold down nuts.
Stephanie: Sure. Punish the one with the good digestive system. (to Michelle) How do you always manage to get your way?
Michelle: Sorry. Can't talk with my mouth full.
The taxi cab beeps twice more
Vicky: Oh, I really got to go. (to Michelle) Goodbye. (to Stephanie) Goodbye.
Stephanie: Bye.
Danny: Bye... uh...
Michelle: Bye, Vicky.
Danny: Vicky?
On the way out, Vicky meets DJ, Steve, and Kimmy, coming in the door
Vicky: (to DJ) Goodbye. (to Steve) Goodbye. (to Kimmy) Goodbye.
Danny: Uh... hello... uh... (Vicki slams the door in Danny's face, then reenters)
Vicky: Oh. I knew I forgot someone. (Vicky and Danny kiss, then Vicky leaves abruptly)
Danny: Bye. (Vicky slams the door in Danny's face again) Can't believe she's gone already. She sees more of the cab driver than she sees of me.
Kimmy: Well, he is better looking.
Michelle: Daddy, do you love Vicky?
Danny: Yes, I do, sweetheart. Very much.
Michelle: Well, then marry her already!
Danny: Honey, it's not that simple. First, I'd have to ask her, and then, she'd have to say "yes."
Michelle: Sounds pretty simple to me.
Steve: (with his arm around DJ) Come on, go for it, Mr. Tanner. If I loved somebody and wanted to get married, there's nothing in this whole world that could stop me. (Danny glares at Steve) Except, maybe a concerned parent.

we find Becky in the attic, when Jesse walks in
Jesse: Hey, Beck, Beck. Guess where I'm playing next weekend with the Rippers.
Becky: Disneyworld.
Jesse: Someone squealed.
Becky: No, honey, your agent just called. Congratulations.
Jesse: Well, honey, y... you don't seem very happy.
Becky: Well, it's just that on my anniversary, I'd like to be in the same state as my husband.
Jesse: Yes, and that is exactly why I booked us in the honeymoon suite.
Becky: Both of us?
Jesse: Uh-huh.
Becky: Together?
Jesse: Yeah.
Becky: Oh, sweetheart, this will be like a second honeymoon. (Becky and Jesse kiss)
Jesse: Exactly what I had in mind.
Becky: Well, wait a minute, what about Nicky and Alex. Do you think they'll like taking their bath in a heart-shaped tub?
Jesse: Well, about Nicky and Alex. You know, I'm thinkin', why don't we leave them home with the family? I mean, as I recall, if we want to make more kids, we'll need some time alone.
Becky: Aw, but I'll really miss the boys.
Jesse: Me too; where are the suitcases?
Becky: In the closet.
Jesse: I'll get them.
Joey enters the attic
Joey: Hey, you guys busy?
Jesse: Oh no, no, we were just saying, you know, we're spending way too much time alone.
Joey: Great, then you are going to love this. Jess, I'm comin' to Florida with you.
Jesse: No you're not.
Joey: Yes I am. I talked to the radio station, and they agreed to send me so we could do our radio show from there. Plus, they're gonna broadcast your concert live back to San Francisco.
Jesse: Heh heh heh heh heh.
Joey: Uh-huh, yeah, huh, uh-huh...
Jesse: That's funny, Joey, but you're not going.
Michelle, Stephanie, DJ, Steve, Kimmy, and Danny enter the attic
Michelle: Uncle Jesse, Uncle Jesse, we're coming to Florida with you.
Jesse: No you're not.
Stephanie: Yes we are; it's a school vacation next week, and "Wake Up San Francisco" is in reruns, so dad's taking all of us down.
Jesse: No he's not.
All but Jesse and Becky: Yes he is.
Kimmy: Yeah. Thanks, Mister T.
Danny: You know, Kimmy, as much as we love spending every waking hour with you, I'm afraid the Tanner family budget is already a little tight.
Kimmy: Oh, no problem. My folks have a standing offer. They'll pay for any vacation I take, as long as it's without them, and I stay over on a Saturday night.
Michelle: I get the window seat on the plane.
Stephanie: No you don't.
Michelle: Yes I do. If I don't sit next to the window, I gag.
Stephanie: I thought nuts made you gag.
Michelle: Two things can make you gag.
Danny: Okay, we'll discuss what makes you gag later; the important thing is, we're all gonna be together.
DJ: (to Steve) Except us.
Steve: I'm gonna miss you so much.
DJ: I'm gonna miss you too much.
Steve: I'm gonna miss you much too much.
Stephanie: Correction, Michelle. Three things can make you gag.
Danny: Okay, Florida, here we come. Come on, we've got bags to...
On the screen, we see images of a plane taking off, as well as EPCOT Center, Cinderella's Castle, and the Tanners' hotel, the Grand Floridian. Then, we find Danny outside the entrance to the Grand Floridian, while everybody else walks out of the hotel
Danny: All right. Jesse, Nicky, Alex, Becky, Kimmy, DJ, Joey, Steph, Michelle... Oh, wait a minute - where's Macaulay Culkin? Just a little joke there.
Michelle: Wow, look who's here! (Michelle sees Donald and Goofy) Hi, Donald. Hi, Goofy. I'm Michelle Tanner. Maybe later we can have a tea party.
Joey: Yeah, yeah, tha... that would be really cool, you know; maybe, we could get Pluto and Minnie, and we could drink out of those little cups, and you know, put our little pinky up, and, uh... (everyone stares at Joey) Or, maybe we could play hockey, right guys?
Jesse: (to Nicky) Hey, want to say "hi"?
Becky: (to Alex) Who's that?
Jesse: Give Donald a big hug.
Becky: Hi, Goofy.
Jesse: Kiss.
Becky: Hi, Goofy.
Jesse: You want to give Goofy a kiss? Give Goofy a kiss on the nose. Give him a kiss.
Becky: Give him a... give him a kiss? (Nicky kisses Goofy)
Jesse: All right! (to Donald and Goofy) I tell you, they're... they're big fans of yours, and you know what? Me too, I... I... I've seen all your films, and I really love your work; I really do, okay? Okay.
Becky: Bye, Donald.
Jesse: Nice to meet you guys.
Becky: Bye, Goofy.
Jesse: Thanks. (to Nicky) Say, "Bye-bye, Goofy."
Becky: Bye-bye.
Nicky: Bye-bye, Goofy.
Jesse: Heh heh. Bye-bye, Goofy.
Danny: Okay, since everybody wants to see different things, I've taken the liberty of drawing up personalized itineraries.
Everybody: (complainingly) Oh.
Joey: Danny.
Danny: Hey, no need to thank me; I kind of enjoyed it.
Joey: Listen, I'm going to meet an old friend of mine who's an animator, and, uh, he's going to show me where the cartoon magic happens.
Becky: Yeah, and Jesse and I have, uh, our own plans for our anniversary, right, honey?
Jesse: Yes, we, uh, we have our own plans, and we're going to have a great anniversary, right after, uh, right after my (Jesse coughs on purpose) rehearsal.
Becky: Rehearsal?
Jesse: Yeah. Just a tiny... a little one.
Becky: Jess.
Jesse: Well, I'm sorry, honey; it just came up. Look, I'm going to do the rehearsal, and then I'll meet you guys in Fantasyland, and then, uh, we'll talk about a couple of, uh, fantasies I have of my own. All right, I'll see you then. (Jesse kisses Becky) Goodbye. (to Nicky and Alex) Bye, boys. (to Nicky) Here, hold Uncle Joey. (Jesse gives Nicky to Joey) See you guys.
Joey: I got him.
Danny: Bye, goofy.
Everybody: Bye. (Jesse leaves)
Danny: I am so jazzed that Vicky's flying in to see us.
Stephanie: Are you gonna ask Vicky to marry you, dad?
Danny: I... I don't know, you know; I've... I've just been driving myself crazy just thinking about it. What I'm gonna do is, I'm just gonna follow my heart, and just bypass my brain entirely.
Kimmy: I never use my brain. Trust me, after a while, you won't even miss it.
Stephanie: Can't miss what you never have.
Michelle: Daddy, when is the fun gonna start?
Danny: Right now, sweetheart. Okay, does everybody have their itineraries? (everyone holds their itineraries in the air) All right, here we go; follow me. (Danny starts singing, and meanwhile, everyone throws their itineraries into the garbage can) Zip-a-dee doo-dah, zip-a-dee-ay. My, oh my, what a wonderful day...

Images of the entrance to the Magic Kingdom are shown. DJ, Stephanie, Michelle, and Kimmy are entering the park
DJ: Wow!
Michelle: Way cool!
Stephanie: This is great!
Michelle: Wow; can we move here?
Stephanie: (looking at Cinderella's Castle) That's my kind of house. (Noticing a display from Aladdin) Hey, what's that?
Lamp Seller: Okay, who's next? Step right up and rub the magic lamp.
DJ, Michelle, Steph: Wow!
Michelle: Look at all the guys from Aladdin.
Stephanie: Yeah, there's the lamp seller, and Princess Jasmine...
DJ: Steve!
Kimmy: Where?
DJ: Up... uh, in San Francisco.
Lamp Seller: Ha, ha, ha, ha. Okay. Who's next? Step right up and rub the magic lamp. Today only, the lucky boy or girl who makes the genie appear will be crowned prince or princess for the day, and be granted three wishes. Come along. No genie, too bad. Uh, who's next? Who's next?
Steph & Michelle: I am.
Stephanie: No, I am.
Michelle: I am.
Stephanie: No, I am.
Michelle: I am.
Stephanie: No, I am.
Michelle: I am. (the lamp seller rolls his eyes)
DJ: Steph, just let her go. She's just a little kid.
Stephanie: Yeah, and Chuckie was just a doll.
DJ: Come on, people are waiting.
Stephanie: Fine, go ahead, Michelle, you get your way again.
Michelle: Thank you. (Michelle rubs the lamp, and a genie appears)
DJ, Steph, Kimmy: Whoa baby!
Lamp Seller: You have awakened the genie. Congratulations, you are princess of the day.
Michelle: I am? Holy moley!
Kimmy: Hey, blondie, that was supposed to be your turn.
Stephanie: Really? I didn't notice.
Lamp Seller: All hail our princess for the day. And remember - you have three wishes...
DJ: Isn't this incredible, Steph? Our little sister is going to have all her dreams come true.
Stephanie: What else is new?
Lamp Seller: Princess Michelle, what is the first of your three wishes?
Michelle: I wish for peace on earth.
Kimmy: Boring!
Michelle: Okay, I got one. I wish we can go on any ride, and not wait in line.
Lamp Seller: Your first wish is granted. And princess, be sure to come back this afternoon to Main Street, where you will ride on a float in our big parade.
Michelle: No way!
Lamp Seller: Way.
Michelle: This is unreal!
we find Joey entering Disney's Animation Studios, at the MGM Studios Theme Park. He is being shown around by an animator named Mark
Joey: Uh, Mark, it's great to see you. Ha ha ha. Hi... oh, hey, Mickey. Everybody here is so happy. Oh, for a cartoon freak like me, this place is heaven.
Mark: Would you like something to drink?
Joey: Yeah, sure. How 'bout, uh, how 'bout one of those big cartoon milkshakes, you know, with the mountain of whipped cream, served by four little mouse butlers?
Mark: Coffee?
Joey: Coffee's fine. Sure. (Mark leaves, and Joey laughs, hums, and starts to draw) Hmm? Mm-hmm, hmm. Ya-da-da-da... (Meanwhile, the cartoon that Joey drew comes to life)
Cartoon: Hey, not bad.
Joey: Who said that?
Cartoon: Uh, down here, big guy...
Joey: Wow! You're me - I'm you. You're a cartoon - I'm a cartoon.
Cartoon: Hey, didn't you forget something? You know, like, uh, the rest of me?
Joey: Oh, sorry. How's that?
Cartoon: You're new at this, right?
Joey: Great. You know, I always wanted to be a cartoon. Hey, um, when you get hit on the head, do you see little birdies? And when someone drops an anvil on you, do you crunch up like an accordion, and then pop back out?
Cartoon: That's kid stuff. Watch this... (The cartoon moves, and his head becomes a basketball, a baseball, a hockey puck, and a football)
Joey: Oh, man! That was so cool. Doesn't that hurt your head?
Cartoon: Ooh, now that you mention it. Could you draw me a couple of Aspirin? (Joey starts to laugh, and Mark comes back)
Mark: Joey? What's so funny?
Joey: Nothin'. Nothin' at all; I, uh, guess I was daydreaming, Mark.
Mark: Well, come on. I'll show you around.
Joey: Okay. (Joey looks back at the cartoon, and the cartoon gives Joey a "thumbs up")

we find Danny and Vicky at EPCOT's World Showcase. Danny sees Vicky with a bird...
Vicky: Hi, sweetheart.
Danny: Hi.
Vicky: Hi. (Vicky and Danny kiss)
Danny: You know, as I was watching you just now, I... I... I reali... I realized more than ever how beautiful and gentle you are. No, I'm serious. I mean, you're so wonderful, even the birds love you.
Vicky: Well, uh, it helps to have a purse full of sunflower seeds.
Danny: Vicky, it's all clear to me now. I don't have a doubt in my mind. In fact, I don't have anything in my mind. I mean, not that I'm an airhead or anything, but, uh, you know what, I'm just... I'm gonna stop rambling, and, uh, I'm gonna let my heart do the talking. Vicky...
Vicky: Yes, Danny?
Danny: Would you... Would you... (All of a sudden, a bagpipe band interrupts and starts dancing with Danny and Vicky. Danny continues, shouting over the music) Vicky... Vicky...
Vicky: What?
Danny: Would you... Would you...
Vicky: Would I what?
Danny: Would you like a bratwurst? Too bad I didn't bring my clogs. Vicky, I'll meet you later at the schnitzel bar.

we find Michelle, Kimmy, DJ, and Stephanie at the Magic Kingdom
Michelle: Come on.
Stephanie: Uh, you guys, wait. Splash Mountain is this way.
Michelle: I want to go on the carousel first.
Stephanie: Oh, come on, Michelle.
Michelle: (pointing at a sign on which Michelle is portrayed as "Princess of the Day") Ah, ah, ah.
DJ: Steph. what are we going to do? We have to listen, or it's off with our heads.
Michelle: Come on! (Stephanie groans)

we find Nicky and Alex in front of a miniature store, "Daisy's Café." Becky is in the background, talking to the boys. She eventually appears on screen...
Becky: You boys are lookin' mighty tall in that little store. Well, partners, I reckon this town ain't big enough for the three of us. (at this point, Jesse enters)
Jesse: Hey, hi guys; I got you a present. Ready? Ready for your present?
Becky: What's...
Jesse: Look at this.
Becky: Ahh.
Jesse: Here, try your hats on.
Becky: Mickey ears!
Jesse: Here you go.
Becky: Aw, Mickey ears.
Jesse: All right, let me get a picture. Smile, you guys. Cheese. All right; lookin' good, boys.
Becky: (to Jesse) Honey, where were you? I was worried about you.
Jesse: Oh, I'm sorry. Rehearsal ran late. Uh, but listen, you know what? I'm here now. Everything's fine.
Becky: But you gotta go do your radio show.
Jesse: Oh, that's right. But after my radio show, I promise you, I am going to take you on a romantic cruise for our anniversary, on the lagoon. How's that sound?
Becky: Honey, that's sweet, but be realistic. You've got a million things to do. Even Superman couldn't pull off your schedule.
Jesse: Superman was a wimp. I mean, think about it. The guy wears his underwear over his tights. Well, look, I promise, look. Pack a lunch for me, okay, and meet me on the docks, and I'll be there, all right? (Jesse and Becky kiss) Hold those lips. (to Nicky and Alex) Give daddy a kiss. Okay. We'll see you, boys. Bye-bye.
Nicky: Goodbye, daddy.
Alex: Bye-bye.

we find Danny and Vicky eating at the underwater restaurant inside EPCOT Center's "The Living Seas" exhibit
Danny: This is amazing. Jesse and Joey doing a radio show from under water.
Vicky: I can't believe Jesse would do something like that.
Danny: Scubadive?
Vicky: Get his hair wet.
Danny: You're funny, too. You're... you're everything. You're perfect.
Vicky: Could you call and tell my mother that?
Danny: Vicky, uh, I was trying to ask you something before, and, uh, I'd like to ask you again. Would you... Ahh!
Danny is startled by Jesse and Joey, who, scuba diving, tap on the glass window next to Danny and Vicky's booth
Vicky: It's Jesse and Joey!
Danny: Great timing. Oh, talk about the wet look.
Jesse, under water, takes out a comb and starts to comb his hair
Vicky: I can't believe he brought a comb.
Danny: If he brought a blow-dryer, they'd both be in trouble. Hi... mm... hmm...

(we find Michelle, Stephanie, DJ, and Kimmy getting off the carousel, after having rode it over and over
Michelle: Isn't this fun, Steph?
Stephanie: It was fun, the first ten times.
DJ: You guys, look! Prince Charming! I could swear it was...
Stephanie & Kimmy: Steve!
Stephanie: So far, you thought Robin Hood, Captain Hook, and Mary Poppins looked like Steve.
DJ: Well, they did.
Kimmy: Yo! Princey! Over here! (the prince waves, and we can see that it is not Steve)
Stephanie: Women who hallucinate in theme parks - on the next Oprah.
DJ: Okay, well, what's next?
Stephanie: Splash mountain!
Michelle: Uh-uh. Carousel again.
DJ: Michelle, we went on it ten times.
Kimmy: Michelle.
Stephanie: Why are we letting this little half-pint tell us what to do?
Michelle: Maybe you didn't notice this crown on my head.
Stephanie: Your head gets any bigger, it's gonna fall off.
DJ: Okay, conference.
Stephanie, DJ, and Kimmy huddle into a group, talking softly so Michelle won't hear
Stephanie: This princess thing is out of control. I can't take it anymore.
DJ: Well, I gotta admit, she's getting way too bossy.
Stephanie: Yeah.
Michelle: (overhearing the conference) Who needs them? (Michelle starts to walk away)
Kimmy: What's her problem? She's treating us like we're the ugly stepsisters.
Stephanie: Kimmy... Nah, too easy.
Kimmy: What do you mean by that?
Stephanie: I mean, too easy, because...
DJ: Well, look, I'll just go... (Stephanie and Kimmy start fighting) Look, look! I'll just go talk to Michelle, okay? Michelle... (DJ notices that Michelle is missing) Where'd she go? Michelle!
Stephanie: She's gone!
Kimmy: You better go tell your dad. Let me know how he takes it.
DJ: Kimmy, we just lost our little sister. Michelle!
Stephanie & Kimmy: Michelle!
DJ: Michelle!
Stephanie: Michelle, where are you?

we find Danny and Vicky, still at the underwater restaurant at EPCOT's "The Living Seas," looking at Jesse and Joey scuba diving
Vicky: Oh, Danny, isn't that beautiful?
Danny: What? Oh, oh... yeah... oh, that's fascinating. (Danny looks at his watch) Oh, ha ha... Darn! They're leaving. Look, Vicky, I better ask you this before someone else does. Vicky, I... (All of a sudden, the waitress interrupts)
Waitress: Mr. Tanner, you have a phone call.
Danny: Of course I do. Figures. (on the telephone) Hello? What! (to Vicky) Michelle's lost. (on the telephone) We'll be right there. (Danny hangs up, and gives the phone to the waitress) Here. (to Vicky) Come on!
we find DJ, Stephanie, and Kimmy in the Magic Kingdom, looking for Michelle
Everybody: Michelle? Michelle, where are you? Michelle...

***To be continued***

Guest Cast:
Vicky Larson: Gail Edwards
Animator: Mark Henn
Lamp Seller: Micheal Marzella
Waitress: Peggy O'Neal
Several Disney figures

Script edited by: Mark J. Saia
Lay-out: Martin van Dam
Written for: Full House Forever