Full House Scripts - Season 7

No Teaser:

we find Danny, Joey, Stephanie, and Michelle in the kitchen
Danny: Come on, everybody; if we want to get these grape leaves ready before your great-grandpa Katsopolis gets here, you guys are going to have to stuff faster.
Joey: (stuffing a grape leaf into his mouth) I'm stuffing as fast as I can.
Steve and DJ come down the stairs
DJ: See you, dad; we're going to go to the mall.
Danny: You just got back from the mall.
DJ: I know, but I can't stop thinking about these designer sunglasses I saw. They're round with black, metal frames.
Kimmy walks in, wearing the sunglasses
Stephanie: And these really cool dark purple lenses?
DJ: Yeah. Did you see them on that Styrofoam head at the store?
Stephanie: No, I see them on that wooden head at the door.
DJ: Kimmy!
Kimmy: Cool shades, huh.
DJ: Kimmy, you always do this to me! Every time I see something that I like, you just have to have it.
Kimmy: Hey, I left Steve alone.
Steve: (choking on an apple) And don't think I'm not grateful.
DJ: Kimmy, I don't want to be seen together wearing the exact same glasses.
Kimmy: Well, maybe we shouldn't be seen together at all.
DJ: Fine with me.
Kimmy: Fine with me.
Stephanie: Fine with me.
Jesse: (calling from the front room) hey, everybody, we're home.

everybody walks from the kitchen into the front room
Papouli: Hello, everybody.
Everybody: Hey!
Papouli: Ohh... mmm... (hugs Michelle)
Michelle: We missed you, grandpa!
Papouli: You remember the last time I was here? I told you to call me "Papouli." "Grandpa" means someone who is old and gray.
Michelle: What does "Papouli" mean?
Papouli: In Greece, it means someone who is old and gray, but it sounds much better.
Danny: Okay, okay, I'm next. Papouli... (Danny hugs Papouli) Do you remember me?
Papouli: Of course I do. Joey.
Danny: No, I'm Danny.
Joey: I'm ... I'm Joey.
Papouli: Of course you are. Ha ha ha ha ha. And little Stephanie... (Papouli hugs DJ) ohh...
DJ: No, I'm DJ.
Papouli: Of course you are. And little Michelle... (Papouli hugs Stephanie) ohh... mmm...
Stephanie: I'm Stephanie.
Michelle: I'm little Michelle.
Papouli: Of course you are. (Papouli points at Steve) And you, I have no idea who you are.
Michelle: You have no idea who any of us are.
Jesse: Papouli, this is, uh, Steve, DJ's boyfriend. You'll be seeing him around here a lot - probably in the kitchen.
Steve: Hey, Deej, catch you later. (Steve kisses DJ) Papouli, see you around.
Papouli: In the kitchen, right?
Steve nods, Jesse kisses Papouli, and Becky walks in with Nicky and Alex
Jesse: Hey, Papouli, you remember Rebecca?
Papouli: Who could forget Rebecca?
Michelle: I bet you could.
Papouli: And Papouli, this is Nicky, and Alex, your great-grandchildren. Boys, say hi to Papouli.
Nicky and Alex: Hi, Papoodi.
Becky: Oh, give Papouli a kiss. (Nicky and Alex kiss Papouli)
Jesse: That's nice.

Papouli, Jesse, Stephanie, and Michelle are in the kitchen
Papouli: Mousaka. Hot... hot, hot, hot, hot...
Jesse: Oh, Papouli's famous mousaka. Mmm. Smell that, girls. Smell that. Isn't that delicious?
Stephanie and Michelle: Mmm.
Jesse: Papouli, you have to give us this recipe before you leave.
Papouli: No problem. This one I got off the back of a box of Mousaka helper. (Papouli laughs)
DJ walks in from the back porch
DJ: Kimmy is the most irritating person in the entire world.
Stephanie: Welcome to our side.
DJ: She wore those sunglasses all day in school. Even in gym.
Papouli: What's wrong with that?
DJ: We were swimming. I mean, she knew I wanted those glasses, and she knew I wouldn't wear them if I knew she had them, but she bought them anyway.
Papouli: You know, this sounds like a fight that two men in my village had. Nikos bought his wife a beautiful pair of pink ox-hair slippers. Andreas found out about it, and he bought the very same slippers.
DJ: Well, maybe his wife had cold feet.
Jesse: Deej, Deej, you're missing the point. Now, all of Papouli's stories have a lesson, okay? He's passing down the wisdom of our Greek ancestors, so you gotta listen, okay? Now this story's not just about a pair of ox-hair slippers; it's about, uh, well this particular story, what's the story about, Papouli?
Papouli: It's about time you shut up and let me finish the story. The point is that Andreas wasn't even married. He bought the slippers because Nikos had the slippers. Of course, he had the legs to carry it off.
(Papouli and Jesse laugh)
Papouli and Jesse: Anyway...
Papouli: Nikos was so mad at Andreas; he never spoke to him again.
Jesse: Ah, see? See, Deej? Words to live by from Papouli, okay? Now you know what he's talking about?
DJ: Mm hmm. Andreas was a jerk just like Kimmy.
Jesse: Well, yes, yes, that's right. (DJ walks away) Is that right, Papouli?
Papouli: Not right.
Jesse: (shouting) That's not right, Deej.
Michelle: Wow! We got flour everywhere.
Papouli: Don't worry. When we got flour on our hands, where do we wipe them off?
Michelle: On a towel?
Papouli: No, my little Michelle. On our nose. (Papouli laughs)
Michelle: How 'bout on our... cheeks?
Papouli: That's the idea. Ha ha ha. Only we missed a spot. (Papouli throws flour into the air) Opa!
Stephanie: Okay...
Papouli: Oh! My goodness. Opa!
Jesse: Ho... ho... ho... ho... ho... ho... ho... ho... ho... ho... ho...
Papouli: Opa!
Jesse: Hey... hey... hey... hey... kids!
All except Jesse: What?
Jesse: Guys, you're making a mess here.
Papouli: What mess? This is a celebration. Opa!
Stephanie: Ooh! Ha ha...
Papouli: Come on, Jesse, get in the party. Opa!
Jesse: All right, I'll give it a try. Here we go, everybody, ready? (Jesse throws flour into the air) Happy New Year!
Papouli: Opa! Opa, opa!
Jesse: Okay, you want an 'opa'? I'll give you an 'opa'. (Jesse dumps flour on Papouli's head)
Papouli: Whoo... hoo... hoo... hoo... opa!
Stephanie: Opa! Whoo... (everybody starts to laugh)
Papouli: Oh, boy, ha... ha... ha...
Papouli and Michelle are doing a Greek dance in the front room, Greek music is playing, and Jesse walks in, down the stairs
Jesse: All right.
Michelle: Uncle Jesse! Papouli's teaching me how to do a Greek dance.
Papouli: Come on, Jesse, we show her a couple steps, huh?
Jesse: No... no thanks, I... I... I really don't dance.
Papouli: (turns off the Greek music) You're Greek, you dance.
Michelle: Papouli, am I Greek?
Papouli: Of course you are, my little Michelle.
Michelle: I don't feel Greek.
Papouli: Well, to feel Greek, you must be proud. Proud of your ancestors - the great authors and thinkers. Of course, you should enjoy life a little bit too. That's why we dance. Because we cannot contain our happiness. Right, Jesse?
Jesse: Listen, my heart is Greek, it's just... my feet don't know it. Listen, you guys have fun, dance... I'm going to clean up the little celebration in the kitchen. You're doing great, Michelle. (Papouli laughs)
Michelle: Papouli, it's share time at school next Monday. Can you come and teach my class a Greek dance?
Papouli: Of course I can, my sweet little Michelle. (Papouli kisses Michelle)
Michelle: I love you, Papouli.
Papouli: And I love you too...

Becky, Jesse, Danny, Joey, Stephanie, and DJ are in the kitchen, looking very sad
Jesse: It's like a... a bad dream, or something.
Becky: I know... I know. But you know, at least Papouli died peacefully in his sleep, you know?
Danny: We know how much he meant to you, Jess. He meant a lot to us, too.
DJ: We're all gonna miss him.
Jesse: It's just... so helpless, it's like... I could have been there, I could have done something, you know, I could have helped him, I could...
Becky: Jess, honey, honey, honey... There was nothing that you could do. There was nothing that any of us could do.
Jesse: You're right. It's just that, he was such a beautiful man, just so full of love and life... now he's gone.
Stephanie: Uncle Jesse, you okay?
Jesse: Yeah, I'm fine, I'm fine. You know, I don't have time for this. I've got so many things to do, make the arrangements...
DJ: Well, we want to help.
Joey: Yeah, Jess, we can take care of all of that.
Jesse: No, it's my responsibility. I'm just, I'm sorry, guys. I'll... I'll... I'll ... I'll take care of it. (Jesse walks up the stairs)
DJ: Why won't Uncle Jesse let us help him?
Becky: Oh, honey, it's just his way of dealing with the pain, you know, by keeping busy.
Michelle walks in, from the back porch
Michelle: Hi, everybody.
Danny: Hi, Michelle.
Michelle: Hi, Daddy.
Danny: How was your honeybee meeting?
Michelle: It was great! I made this for Papouli. Where is he?
Danny: Michelle, Papouli's not here.
Becky: It's okay.
Michelle: Something's wrong.
Danny: Uh, sweetheart, this is, uh, this is not easy to say to you. Uh, this morning after you went to school, we went to wake up Papouli. Michelle, he died in his sleep, last night.
Michelle: What?
Danny: He was just... he was very old, and his heart gave out.
Michelle: No! He's not dead! (Michelle storms out of the kitchen)

Michelle is alone in her room, until Stephanie walks in
Stephanie: Hey, Michelle.
Michelle: Hi.
Stephanie: How you doing?
Michelle: I feel like crying.
Stephanie: Me too. But we can't do that in front of Uncle Jesse.
Michelle: Why not?
Stephanie: 'Cause if he saw us crying, he might start to cry again too.
Michelle: Uncle Jesse was crying?
Stephanie: He started to. He didn't want me to see, but I did. Michelle, we got to be brave for Uncle Jesse, and not let him know that we're sad too.
Michelle: I don't know if I can do that.
Stephanie: You have to.
Michelle: But how can I stop myself from crying?
Stephanie: Just think of something funny, like, when Joey stuffs a whole doughnut in his mouth.
Michelle: Yeah, that always makes me laugh.

Jesse walks into Michelle's bedroom, talking on the telephone
Jesse: (on the telephone) All right, Aunt Elaine, I'll... I'll be there in a few days. Bye. (Jesse hangs up the telephone) Girls, you okay?
Stephanie: Yeah.
Jesse: You all right, Michelle? (Michelle stares and does not look at Jesse) What are you doing?
Michelle: Thinking about Joey stuffing a whole doughnut in his mouth.
Jesse: Oh. All right. You girls hang in there. I just talked to the relatives; it looks like I'm going back to Greece for a few days. (Jesse leaves the room)
Stephanie: Good job, kid.

Everyone is in the back yard, and a bell is ringing. Danny is standing next to a boat
Danny: Ahoy, matey.
All except Danny: Whoa!
Joey: Danny, where did you get the boat?
Danny: What boat? (Danny laughs) Oh, I bought it.
Becky: Danny, you went out and bought a boat? Just like that? It took you six months just to decide between liquid or powder bleach.
Danny: Yeah, but this is... this is different. This is something we've always dreamed about. Isn't that right, little buddy? (Danny puts a sailor hat on Joey)
Joey: Aye-aye, captain. I hear exactly what you're saying. I mean, after everything that's happened this week, it makes you realize that your life's really short, and you should really go for your dreams, or you've got no reason to wake up in the morning and scratch yourself.
Danny: Hey, everybody, check this out - I think I have the perfect name for our vessel.
Danny shows everyone the name of the vessel, written on the buoy
Joey: Hey, "Papouli," I like it.
Jesse: So do I. And so would Papouli. Thanks, Danny. (Jesse hugs Danny, and starts to cry, but doesn't) You know, I got to... I got to get back on the phone and make a bunch of calls.
Becky: Jess, know what you need to do? You need to slow down and take some time for yourself.
Jesse: Beck, I'll be fine. I just got to call the airlines and confirm. I don't want to end up in Athens, Georgia.

Kimmy walks into the backyard
Kimmy: Hey, Beavis and Boathead.
Danny: Look, Joey, we caught our first fish, the big-mouth Gibbler.
DJ: Guys, can we have a minute?
Becky: Oh, sure. (Everybody leaves except DJ and Kimmy)
DJ: Hi Kimmy.
Kimmy: Hey, Deej. Steve told me about your great-grandpa. I'm really sorry.
DJ: Thanks.
Kimmy: Listen, about the sunglasses.
DJ: You know, forget about the sunglasses. You know, I missed the whole point of Papouli's story. We shouldn't break up a lifelong friendship over something as stupid as a pair of sunglasses.
Kimmy: Yeah, you're right.
DJ: A sweater, maybe, but... Friends again?
Kimmy: You got it. (DJ and Kimmy hug each other)

Jesse is alone in the kitchen, on the telephone
Jesse: (on the telephone) How's Michelle? She's fine... What do you mean, she's not at school? I saw her leave for school this morning. (Jesse looks at the boat in the backyard, and sees a hand putting a pudding cup on the side of the boat)

In the backyard, Jesse sneaks up on Michelle
Jesse: Oh, boy, I sure had a big lunch. But, I got this one pudding cup left. What to do? You know, I'll just, uh, I'll put it up here on the boat next to the other one, and I'll come back and get it later. Well, I'm off... (Michelle's hand comes out of the boat to grab the pudding cup, and Jesse grabs it) Gotcha!
Michelle: That was cold.
Jesse: Michelle, what are you doing home from school?
Michelle: I... couldn't find my backpack.
Jesse: What's that? (Jesse points at the backpack in the boat)
Michelle: Oh, it's in the boat.
Jesse: (imitating Michelle) Oh, it's in the boat.
Michelle: The one place I didn't look.
Jesse: Hey, hey shorty, hold on a second, come here. Come on, shorty. Level with me. What's really going on?
Michelle: Can't tell you.
Jesse: Can't tell me? We tell each other everything.
Michelle: Everything?
Jesse: Yeah, well... I never told you this, but... I once bought a Kathie Lee Gifford CD. Oh, boy does it feel good to get that out in the open. All right, it's your turn.
Michelle: Papouli was supposed to come to school today to teach my class a Greek dance.
Jesse: I'm sorry, kiddo.
Michelle: I was afraid if I went to school and Papouli wasn't there, I'd feel sad.
Jesse: Michelle, it's okay to feel sad.
Michelle: But if I feel sad, I might cry, and then I can't be brave... for you.
Jesse: Michelle, where did you get the idea that you had to be brave for me?
Michelle: From Stephanie. She said that you were so sad; we shouldn't make you worse.
Jesse: Oh sweetheart, Stephanie... she probably thought she was telling you the right thing to do, but she was wrong. I'm going to talk to her about that. Michelle, we should... we should always share our feelings with each other. That's what makes us a family.
Michelle: I really loved Papouli. I was his little Michelle.
Jesse: I was his little Jesse. He used to always take care of me. Now, he comes to visit me, and I can't even take care of him.
Michelle: It's not your fault. His heart was old.
Jesse: I know, Michelle, but it still hurts.
Michelle: It's okay to be sad.
Jesse: I know - I heard that somewhere before.
Michelle: Uncle Jesse?
Jesse: Hmm?
Michelle: Is it okay to cry?
Jesse: You bet. (Jesse and Michelle hug and cry)

At Michelle's school, in Michelle's classroom
Michelle's Teacher: Thank you, Denise, that was very informative.
Jesse walks in with Michelle
Jesse: (to Michelle) Are you going to be okay?
Michelle: Yeah.
Jesse: All right. (Jesse walks out the door)
Michelle's Teacher: Hi, Michelle.
Michelle: Hi.
Michelle's Teacher: Do you have something for share time today?
Michelle: Well, my great-grandpa Papouli was supposed to come to school today to teach us a Greek dance, but he died.
Michelle's Teacher: Oh... well, we're all very sorry, Michelle.
Michelle: He taught me some of it, but I'm not sure if I can remember.
Michelle's Teacher: Well, I'm sure we'd all really like it if you tried.
Michelle's Class: Yeah! Come on, Michelle.
Michelle: Okay, I brought the tape. (Greek music starts to play, and Michelle starts to dance, but then stops) I can't remember the rest.
Jesse: I can. Ready... (Jesse dances with Michelle in front of the class) Ready for the big jump,
Michelle: Opa! Here we go... (Everyone starts to clap)

***End ***

Guest Cast:
Papouli: Jack Kruschen
Denise: Jurnee Smollett
Michelle's Teacher: Kathryn Rossetter