Fan Fiction - Written by Doug Fowler - Television Universe

(D.J. and Kimmy are walking toward their car in the student parking lot.)
DJ: Can you believe how big Kathy Santoni got over the summer?
Kimmy: Yeah. She must have started to eat like Steve.
DJ: Kimmy! Don't you get it? I heard rumors. I won't say what.
Kimmy: Come on, Deej, I'm your best friend. You can tell me.
DJ: Well...(she speaks lowly) There might be someone inside her.
Kimmy: Whoa, that is big news. Kathy Santoni ate someone?
D.J.:(Exasperated, as Kathy walks up to them by Kimmy's car) Kimmy! (Turns to Kathy) Oh, hi. (Starts to get in.)
Kathy: D.J., wait. (She breathes deeply.) I know you don't like to hang around me anymore, because...well...
Kimmy: Her family says you make me look like her.
DJ: Kimmy, knock it off. (To Kathy): So, let me guess?
Kathy: No need. You know I show all the signs. I just wanna invite you to my baby shower in a few days. (She hands them invitations) And...well, ask you to keep it a secret. For now.
DJ: Kathy, I have to tell my dad why I'm suddenly buying a shower gift. Besides, Steph and Michelle will want to come along shopping. And, you know they'll blab.
Kathy: Well, that's something else. I know your aunt and uncle who live with you have been talking about another baby. (D.J. nods) Well, Mom said I could keep Scott. But, I'm really thinking about ad-... ad--.
Kimmy: Addition? We covered that in first grade. I think I had it down pat by third.
DJ: Kimmy. (Lowly) She means adoption. (To Kathy): Kathy, you know your life as a carefree teen will be over if you raise this child. But, it's going to be very hard to let go, too.
Kathy: At least I'd know he was in a good home, though. The father moved across the country with his parents. He'll send support, but he'll never see him.
DJ: And you want him to have a stable home. (She sighs as Kathy nods) I'll talk it over with them this afternoon.

(Stephanie and Michelle are playing with the twins. Nicky and Alex are each pulling at the same toy train)
Nicky: MINE!
Alex: MINE!
Stephanie:: Okay, hold it, boys. (She puts her hand on the train) I better learn to find ways to help if I'm to babysit for more than just you, Michelle.
Michelle: Maybe they can do "rock, paper, scissors?"
Stephanie:: That might be a little advenaced for them, but we'll see. (To the twins): Hold out your hands. (They do. ) Now make a fist like this. (They copy her)
Michelle: (as Joey walks in) That's rock. Now do this. (They make a 'V' shape like Michelle.) That's scissors. And this is paper. (She turns her palm downward)
Joey: (kneeling to the ground with them) Oh, cool, rock, paper, scissors. I love this game.
Stephanie:: Did you play it a lot when you were a kid, Joey?
Joey: Oh, yeah. I even did the voice. (In deep voice) There was Rocky the Rock. (Does sneaky, Russian villain type voice) Then there was Ivan Scissors-ov. (Does John Wayne) And of course, Pancho the paper, Pilgrim.
Michelle: Those are great.
Joey: Okay, now look. (Jesse walks in and glares as Joey demonstrates) See, rock is the tough guys. It can fly right through the paper. The paper covers the scissors. And the scissors, being the sneaky villains, can easily plant a tracking device in the rock, set to go off unless our hero the paper can defuse it...
Jesse: Joey, what in the world are you talking about? That's not how it works at all. Scissors cut paper, rock smashes scissors, and paper covers rock.
Joey: (standing to face Jesse) Did the Flintstones have wallpaper in their cave? No.
Jesse: I'm not talking about the Flinstones. Paper covers rock, it can't cover scissors.
Stephanie:: Paper can cover walls if it's big enough.
Jesse: (turning to Stephanie for a second): True. (Back to Joey): But the important thing is, scissors cut the paper. (To Michelle): Do the scissors in your school cut paper?
Michelle: The scissors they gave us in Kindergarten hardly cut anything.
Jesse: Okay, but ordinarily scissors cut paper. See, Joey?
Joey: Ah, but the paper can cover up the scissors so you can't find them to cut. As I'm sure Michelle has experienced. (She nods)
Jesse: Well, think, Joey, maybe there was no paper covering the Flintstone's walls because it all got cut by the scissors! (The girls giggle)
Joey: No, because if the Flintstones had wallpapered their cave, the wallpaper could easily cover the scissors until the Flintstones were done papering. (He holds a finger to his chin.) Unless a rock got thrown through the paper.
Jesse: Come on, Joey, kids on every playground in America know... (He rolls his eyes as D.J. and Steve walk in): Listen to me, I'm having an argument with a grown man over rock, paper, scissors!
D.J.:(Shaking her head) Boy, I wish high school let out earlier. I miss the good stuff. Is Aunt Becky upstairs?
Jesse: Yeah, go on up. (As she leaves) Look, Joey, you've got to play the game by the rules.
Joey: And the rules are that paper can cover everything else.
Steve: Is there anything in the refrigerator?
Stephanie: (to Michelle) Hey, there's a good truce. Just say Steve eats everything.
Michelle: Yeah, but how do you make a Steve with your hand?
Stephanie: (folding her thumb over so it looks like a mouth, opening and closing it): Like this.

(Nicky and Alex copy)
Nicky: Mine.
Alex: Mine.
Stephanie: (rolling eyes): Here we go again.

(Aunt Becky hears a knock on the door to the attic)
Becky: Come on in, Michelle. (D.J. enters) Whoa, you've grown since you left for second grade.
DJ: It's just me, Aunt Becky.
Becky: I know. Come on over and have a seat. (They sit on the couch) So, what's on your mind?
DJ: Aunt Becky; did you ever have a classmate who was pregnant?
Becky: Whoa, what a tough question your first day of eleventh grade. Not in my town, but over in the next one there was.
DJ: What happened?
Becky: Well, the parents lassoed the boy involved, and made them get married out in a cornfield.
DJ: Well, there won't be any cornfields involved in this one. Or lassos long enough.
Becky: Tough case, huh?
DJ: Yeah. Aunt Becky, you know Kathy Santoni, right? (She nodded) It's her. And the boy moved across the country.
Becky: Oh no. What's she going to do?
DJ: Well, she knows you want to have another baby. And, she wondered if...(Becky leans closer) Well, if you might take hers.
Becky: D.J., that's great that she'd think of us. But, when she holds that bundle of joy in her arms, she's going to find it hard to let go.
DJ: I know. She thought she wanted a baby. But, now she realizes how much stress there is. Even if she does live with her mom yet.
Becky: There's another thing to consider. She won't be alone. And, she needs to learn to be responsible for her actions. (She smiled) But, don't worry. Tell her she doesn't have to leave the baby in a hayloft for some unknown farmer to raise.
DJ: Huh?
Becky: Sorry, just thinking of that case back home. We'd be happy to adopt. That baby would see so much love. Just like our own.
DJ: Thanks, Aunt Becky. (They embrace)

(Danny and Becky are talking in the living room, Michelle is eating a bedtime snack. Jesse comes downstairs)
Becky: Okay, and for next Monday's show...Oh, hey, Jess. You know, I've been thinking. About the baby we want to have. Uh... (She looks at Michelle, who gets an ornery grin)
Danny: Don't worry about listening. Just eat your ice cream.
Jesse: What about it?
Becky: Well, I was wonder...Jess, what if we adopt?
Jesse: Adopt what?
Becky: You know, a baby. It would just like...well, you know.
Jesse: Oh yeah, you mean how...but instead...well, the baby just comes...
Michelle: From your heart.
Jesse: Well...yeah, like she says.
Danny: That's a beautiful definition, sweetheart.
Becky: And that's what adoption is. When a baby comes from your heart.
Danny: Pam and I talked about adoption after Michelle was born. Just so we could have a boy, too. But, we decided against it for a while. Then, of course, the accident happened.
Becky: Jess, let's not miss an opportunity. I'm sure there's...well...you know... They think they want babies, but they're too young...
Danny: Maybe you better go upstairs and talk about this.
Michelle: No, they can stay down here. This is fun.
Jesse: Hey, don't worry. (Sweetly, kneeling beside the couch) So you want to adopt, huh?
Becky: Yeah.
Jesse: Well, we said earlier we'd make the time. Let's go for it.
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(Danny and Vicki together, Stephanie walk in):
Vicki: Isn't it sweet how Jesse and Becky are adopting.
Danny: May adopt. I'm with Becky. I'm still convinced that Kathy could keep her baby. Hi, honey. (He hugs her) How was school?
Stephanie:: Fine. Dad, is it true that one of D.J.'s friends is giving up her baby for adoption.
Danny: May give him up. Something happens when you hold that bundle of joy in your arms. Plus, she should take responsibility for her actions.
Stephanie:: Like when you reduced my punishment for flying to Auckland because I took such good care of Michelle? And admitted how my worst mistake was taking her along.
Danny: That's right, you presented a good, well thought out argument last year. And, you showed only why Michelle should be grounded for less time, not you. Because she did obey you perfectly. You were very unselfish. So, since you'd both been really good for a few days, I reduced her punishment by two weeks, but also yours by one. I reward good behavior like that, don't I?
Stephanie: (as the phone rings, Becky runs in to pick it up): Yep, that's just what D.J. said you'd say last year. (Danny glares) Oops. Well, I mean, I just sort of tried out my argument, she gave me some advice, and...Well, come on, Dad, you know I would never do that again.
Danny: (grinning) Just checking. I know it's a little late now to do anything. Besides, the important thing is, you know how dangerous that stuff is.
Stephanie:: Yeah. So, where is D.J., anyway?
Becky: (back in the picture): On the phone.
Stephanie:: How'd I do that?
Becky: She and Steve are down with Kathy and her mom right now. She says it's time. (Into phone): Listen, Deej, I'm calling Jesse at the radio station, and we'll be right down. (She hangs up)
Danny: We'll be here to watch the twins. Tell D.J. I'll come down for her as son as Joey gets home to watch the others.
Stephanie: (as Michelle walks in the door): I can babysit, Dad.
Michelle: Why would you need to babysit Dad?
Danny: You're just a little young to handle three or to handle toddlers yet. Get a little more experience with Michelle, and you'll be in good shape.

(Kimmy, and Steve are in the waiting room with Kathy and Mrs. Santoni)
Kimmy: This is so cool. It reminds me of when our pets had babies.
Steve: Man, I'd just hate to be around a pregnant woman. With all they eat, I'd never get any food.
D.J.: (Walking into the scene) I called. Aunt Becky's on her way.
Mrs. Santoni: We're here for my daughter, she's having a baby.
Nurse: (as Kathy scream due to a contraction) Which one is she?
Kimmy: (Points to Kathy) This one, Hannah. (Turns to D.J.): Betcha couldn't guess she's my cousin, Deej.
DJ: I...had my suspicions.
Nurse: Wait right over there.
Mrs. Santoni: My daughter has talked about giving the baby up for adoption. Her friend D.J. there phoned the prospective parents. It's her aunt and uncle.
Nurse: Thanks, we'll make a note for the social worker.

(Minutes later, Becky and Jesse walk in)
Jesse: (walking up to the nurse) Is our baby here yet?
Nurse: Funny, you don't look pregnant.
Becky: What he means is, is the baby we might adopt here yet?
Nurse: Oh, you must be here for Kathy Santoni. She just went into the maternity ward with her friends.
Becky: (as she and Jesse walk toward the room) Oh, Jess. This is such a great moment.
Jesse: Yeah. We haven't talked about it 'cause we - well, mostly you have been afraid it might not happen. But, it does look like it might be our baby coming.
Becky: Actually, I was just thinking about having a baby without going through labor.

(Joey arrives home, he sees Danny and the girls.)
Danny: Vicki had to leave to go back to Chicago. I'm going down to be with D.J..
Joey: Fine, I'll handle things here.
Stephanie:: Dad, if Kathy ends up keeping her baby, can we get another pet instead?
Michelle: Maybe we can get a horse.
Danny: Girls, horses are smelly sometimes, they aren't potty trained, and they cost thousands of dollars to raise.
Stephanie:: And your point is?
Joey: Look, Aunt Becky still has her one horse. D.J. lost interest fast. But, if you ever want to go out to the stables to ride, it's right there.
Stephanie: (making a face): Eww, I don't want to be around that kind of a smell. I'd rather deal with dirty diapers any day.
Michelle: But, you didn't mind the smell when I came home last Saturday.
Stephanie: (putting an arm around her): That's because I love you no matter how you smell. Becauses, when you were young, you were a real stinker.
Michelle: Thanks. I think.

(Scene is at the hospital waiting room)
Becky: Well, now all we can do is wait.
DJ: I wish we could be back there with her.
Danny: I know, honey. Especially since there's no father.
Jesse: It's a shame, you know. She just threw away her future. And, she'll always have those what-ifs floating around in her mind if she does give him up.
Becky: Yeah, like what would his first words have been, or thinking about that first pet, the joy of his first day of school.
Danny: That wonderful sixteenth birthday. Where if it was a girl, hopefully she'd get her first kiss then and not before.
DJ: What a magical memory.
Kimmy: Yeah. And she wouldn't have the thrill of being able to comfort him after he stayed up half the night to watch his first horror movie.
Becky: Even that's special, in a way.
DJ: All those what-ifs. Maybe that's one reason why she chose you guys.
Danny: I think you've got something there, Deej. She knew she might at least hear about some of it from Uncle Jesse and Aunt Becky.
Nurse: (walking out to them) Miss Santoni just gave birth. You can all go back now.

(They enter the waiting room, Kathy is holding Scott)
DJ: Hey, Kathy.
Jesse: (shaking the baby's hand with his thumb) Hey, little Scotty. It's me. I'm gonna be your Daddy.
Becky: Uh...Jess..let's wait till she says something.
Social worker: Kathy's still a little uncertain. She says now she may choose to keep Scott.
Becky: (shocked): What?! But we were hoping...(Jesse puts an arm around her) I know. I know. I guess I was hoping, too.
Mrs. Santoni: Honey, think about your life. You might have to miss your prom because your baby's sick or something.
Kathy: I went to it as a sophomore. It's just...if I give him up, I'll miss so much. I'll know of him, but I won't really know him.
Danny: Look, Kathy, I know it's probably not my place. But, I've raised three girls. It's taken lots of energy. And, even with your mom helping, it's going to be very stressful. And, you have to figure your schoolwork, your job, everything into it. And then there's the need for a male role model. A baby should have two parents; even if those happen to be a dad, an uncle, and a best friend like in our case.
Kathy: I know. Look, just...give me a chance to think. A day or two.
Jesse: (a little depressed): Yeah. We'll do that.