Fan Fiction - Written by Martin van Dam - Season 9 |
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Episode (12) 204 - Hit The Road, Steph!
Teaser: We find Jesse and the twins in the garden with a mini-basket... Jesse: Okay boys, let me see what you can do. Nicky: Are you going to play against the two of us ? Jesse: Yes I am. Alex: This will be easy. We still know how you played last time. Jesse: Hey, but I scored a basket. Nicky: And Comet scored three. Jesse: Okay, let's play. (He gets a ball and dribbles with it to the basket. Then he throws the ball down towards the net and the ball falls next to the net.) Alex: (Laughing) Great shot, daddy. Jesse: (Stands with the ball in one hand) Hey, I was just warming up. Nicky: (Walk to Jesse and takes the ball out of his hand) Thank you daddy. (He throws the ball to Alex.) Show daddy how it must be done, brother. Alex: (Stands with the ball about five meters away from the basket) Okay. Watch this very carefully, dad. (He throws the ball, just through the net.) Jesse: That's just beginner's luck. (He takes the ball and throws it towards the basket, but he misses again.) Alex: Come on, Nicky, let's play with Joey. He's much better. The boys walk away. Jesse stays outside with the ball in his hand... Jesse: I can score. (He throws the ball and misses again.) Okay, let's concentrate. (He throws again and again the ball misses the basket) I think they should make that basket bigger. (He throws again....) We find Danny and Becky in the living room when Stephanie walks in... Becky: I think it's a great subject, Danny. Stephanie: What is ? Danny: We have a man that thinks many young drivers are driving too dangerous. I'm so glad you're not one of them. Stephanie: That's only because I just have my license. I can't believe it finally happened. Danny: If it was for me, it wouldn't have happened. Stephanie: Dad, face it. I'm almost 17 now. I already waited one year too much. And that was only because you said you should stop giving me my allowance when I should go for my drivers license. Becky: Danny, tell me it is not true. Danny: It is not true. Becky: I'm happy to hear that. Danny: But it's also not true that it isn't true. Becky: Danny, I'm shocked. Stephanie: You haven't even heard the worst part. (Takes a short breath) He also wanted to pay me just to make sure I wouldn't have sex before I was eighty. Danny: Stephanie, don't embarrass me, please. It's for your own good. Becky: This reminds me of my uncle Gus. He also paid his children to let go all the fun things of life. Stephanie: And what happened ? Becky: Well, he paid them and they enjoyed their life with that money. Stephanie: (To Danny) Dad, can I borrow your car ? I want to buy a new sweater in the mall. Danny: No. Stephanie: Why not ? Danny: Because I just waxed the tires. They will get full of dirt when you drive the car. Stephanie: Too bad. Well, then I will ask Joey if I can use his car. Stephanie walks out of the living room, into the kitchen... Becky: Danny, I can't believe you didn't let her drive your car. Danny: I have a very good reason. Jesse and I are taking my car later. I want to buy Stephanie one of her own for her birthday. Becky: Danny, I didn't expect you to do such a thing. Danny: Well, she deserves it. She kept her promise and now I will keep mine. And bye the way, I will make sure the car has a remote control, so I can drive it from here. On Michelle's room, we find Michelle and her friends Derek and Aaron... Michelle: Boys. We have to think up a subject for our school project. Aaron: I know something. We can study the life of a serial killer. Follow him everywhere around, question him, tape him... Michelle: Let him kill us ? Aaron: No, but it will be great to see all the blood. Derek: Guys, personally I was thinking of a more sophisticated subject. I was thinking of a study concerning the question how an animal of lower class than human can satisfy his natural needs of taking care of his survive. Michelle: (Nodding yes) Hm. Sounds nice. But I actually didn't understand much of what you were saying. Derek: What I was suggesting is that we should examine how an animal supplies himself of food and drink. Michelle: Next time just say what you mean, that makes it easier for us to understand you, a lot! Aaron: Michelle, maybe we can start with your uncle Jesse. I think monkeys will be a great thing to study. Michelle: Don't talk about my uncle Jesse that way. Or do you want me to study your father ? Derek: Hello, can you please kill each other after we have finished the project ? Aaron: Sure, I like the look of blood. Michelle: I think I know a great subject. Derek: What ? Michelle: What about the way animals take care of their baby's ? I know there are some baby- animals in the zoo. Aaron: What baby animals ? Michelle: Well, a baby monkey, a baby elephant and you, but you escaped. In TV studios we find Danny and Becky doing their show... Becky: Welcome all. Today we have a special show about dangerous driving. Danny: And our special guest is Mr. Cooper, he has studied this subject for several years. Becky: He will talk about driving teenagers, the dangers about this, and he will show a video he made about this. Danny: And last but not least he will get some dents out of a car door with his very special karate kick. (He stands up and shakes hands with the guest) Welcome, Mr. Cooper. Mr. Cooper: Thank you. Becky: I have the first question here for you. What do you think about teenagers in cars ? Mr. Cooper: I think teenagers learn to drive to soon. I've been in Europe some years ago and over there teenagers are not allowed to drive before they are eighteen years old. And I think even that's too young. Danny: I fully agree with you. My middle daughter got her license recently, and I sure hope it will be taken from her soon.... Just to make sure she is safe of course. Mr. Cooper: I think young drivers are too inexperienced. It's not safe to let them drive all by them selves. I think there should be an adult with them all the time. Becky: But what's the difference between young drivers and older drivers ? Mr. Cooper: Well, like I said young drivers a re too inexperienced. Becky: Adults can be inexperienced too, you know. My aunt Greta started driving when she was 85. Mr. Cooper: And did she get her license ? Becky: Yes she did. But she didn't enjoy it. The day after she got it she drove into the pigsty. We found her after a two hours search. Mr. Cooper: And did she survive ? Becky: Yes she did. She was full of mud. And kept on telling us to take a bath. We smelled too Much she said. She didn't want to drive again then. Danny: What an exciting story that was. We will be back after the commercials. Somebody on the floor calls 'Okay, we're of the air'.... Danny: Mr. Cooper, before we continue. I have a question to you. I told you my daughter has her license now. How safe is it to let her drive ? Mr. Cooper: Well, there's a big chance she will have had an accident right now when she was driving. Danny: Oh my god. Becky: Danny, don't worry. She will do fine. Else she wouldn't have passed for her drivers license. Danny: Yes, I guess you're right. I'm making a too big deal out of it. Becky: And beside that. It's Joey's car she's driving, not yours. We find Stephanie and Gia standing next to Joey's car, which is parked against a tree.... Stephanie: Gia, do you think they will notice this ? Gia: No, that dent is only 5 centimeters long. Stephanie: I'm dead meat. Gia: Hey Steph, it was not your fault. Stephanie: Tell my dad. He won't believe that. Gia: Can you still drive the car ? Stephanie: I hope so. I will try to start the engine. (She walks back in and turns the key, but nothing happens) Oh no! Gia: Try again. Again, Stephanie turns the key and this time the engine starts... Stephanie: (Sighs deeply) I'm so glad it started. Come, get in. We will drive home. Gia gets into the car too and Stephanie drives away.... Stephanie: How do I tell my dad ? Gia: I think it's better if you worry about how you gonna tell Joey. It's his car. Stephanie: Joey is not the problem. He will understand, but my dad won't. Gia: Then just don't tell him. Stephanie: No, I have an idea. I will tell my dad Kimmy Gibbler came by, pushed me to the back and started joy-riding. Gia: Great idea, but who's gonna believe you ? Stephanie: I will. And maybe my dad will. (Looking with frown eyebrows) Neh! In the zoo we find Joey, Michelle, Derek and Aaron.... Michelle: Thanks for coming with us, Joey. Aaron: But next time don't let anyone else borrow your car. We had to walk all the way. Joey: Hey, walking is good for your legs. Aaron: But it makes me tired. Joey: Go to bed early then tonight. Derek: I fully agree with our chaperone. Walking stimulates the blood circulation in the legs and it makes your muscles stronger. Michelle: Look, there's the baby monkey. Aaron: Michelle, I can see you're his sister. There's a big resemblance. Michelle: Well, greet it from me. And when you're doing that. Just walk by the pigs and say hello to your parents. Joey: Hey. Don't fight. You're working together. You act like little children. Michelle: Okay, we will act more mature. (She points at Aaron) But he started. Aaron: Liar. You started. Michelle: No I didn't. Derek: (To Joey) I have a little suggestion. Shall we continue our journey in the zoo to try to reach our goals. We can find more mature creatures around her, I guess. Michelle: Derek, can we use the video camera ? Derek: Yes we can. I prepared it at home and it's ready to be used. Derek takes the camera out of his bag and gives it to Michelle.... Michelle: And now we will watch one of the young animals around here. (She accidentally tapes Joey, but she doesn't notices this, because she doesn't look through the camera) Here we can see the baby monkey. It has been born last month and it is called Chimpa. Joey: (Imitating a monkey) I'm a monkey. Michelle, please don't tape this, but the real monkey. Michelle: I'm taping the monkey, Joey. Joey moves like a monkey with his arms, and Michelle, who still doesn't know that she is taping him, continues without moving the camera. Michelle: Okay, this was the monkey, now we will go to the elephants, where we will also tape a young one. Michelle turns off the camera and all walk to the elephants. When they get there, Michelle starts taping again. First she looks through the camera and focuses it on the baby animal... Derek: Look over there, isn't that Eddie Murphy ? Michelle: (Looks to the direction Derek points at) No, he doesn't look like him at all. Derek: You're right. When I have a better look I see. Aaron: Tell something about the elephants. Michelle: What ? Joey: Let me do it. I will do an impression of a baby-elephant. Okay. (Talking with a lower voice impressing a little animal) Hello, I am Trunky. I am a little elephant. Michelle starts laughing, because Joey puts his hands on his nose. She doesn't notice the camera moves a little bit and now is focused on a fat lady sitting on a bench... Joey: (Still imitating) I was born recently. I was so sick of being in my mother. 22 months, and there was no fun in there. No television, no poker nights, no hamburgers. Well, okay. I had some hamburgers. Just a few. But now I only eat them when people throw them to me. The camera is still focused on the fat lady, when Michelle and her friends are laughing.. Joey: You wanna know what my weight is ? Well, I don't like to tell this, but it's 600 pounds. I know, I already tried a diet, but it just didn't work. And hey, look over there (He points to two elephants. One is standing behind the other, with his front legs on the back of the other elephant.) Aaron: What are they doing ? Michelle: Something you're parents still regret. (She moves the camera and tapes the elephants) Joey: (Imitating again) Well, I guess they are working on the brother I ordered last week. But that service is really slow. Derek: I have a question. Michelle, did you tape that ? Michelle: Yes I did. Derek: Well, to me it looked like that elephant took some Viagra. Michelle: Derek, please. Don't say anything more. In a big do-it-yourself shop, we find DJ and Steve... DJ: Okay, we have to find a nice color of paint for the baby-room. Steve: What about red and white ? DJ: Red and white ? Steve: Yeah. That reminds me of a nice strawberry milkshake with whipped cream on top. DJ: Why don't you take brown then ? Steve: Like a doughnut ? DJ: No, like a nice big hamburger. Steve: That sounds good too. Shall we get one now ? DJ: Oh look. This is such a nice wallpaper. Look those little bunny's. Steve: Can we eat those bunnies when it's Christmas time ? DJ: Steve, no. Steve: Too bad. What about this one. DJ: Wallpaper with basketball stars ? Steve: Yes. I want my son to love basketball and be the best player ever. DJ: And what if it is a girl ? Steve: Then she can always be a cheerleader. DJ: Steve, don't you have the feeling it's all going much too fast ? I mean, I know I'm pregnant for about a week and we are already searching for stuff to put in the baby room. Steve: Yes, it's soon. But the renovation starts soon too. And we want that to be finished on time, don't we ? DJ: Yes, I guess you're right. Oh look, isn't this a nice color ? I like this yellow. Steve: We take this. DJ: Do you get the same feelings when you see this color ? Steve: You mean you want French frites too ? Later, we find Stephanie in the kitchen, when Joey, Michelle and her friends walk in... Michelle: If somebody is looking for us, we are up stairs working on our project. Joey: Okay. Please let me see the results. (To Stephanie) I see you survived my car ? Stephanie: (Nervously) Yes.. yes I did. But Joey... Joey: Wait one moment. I want to see if you parked it on the right place. You know how your father can be when somebody else uses his parking space. He only wants to stand on that place he vacuumed himself. Stephanie: Joey, before you go, I have to tell you something. You see, I survived the car. But.. Joey: (He walks outside) Oh my god! Stephanie: But the car didn't really survive me. Joey: What happened ? Stephanie: Joey, please don't be mad at me. Joey: Stephanie, what did you do ? Stephanie: I drove with Gia to the mall and suddenly a driver from the opposite direction drove on our side of the road. I tried to avoid that car and did. But I was so startled I saw the tree too late. Joey: Oh my god. Stephanie: Are you mad at me ? Joey: Mad ? No, of course not. I'm not mad at you. I'm mad at the person who drove on the wrong side of the road. Thank god you're al right. I can always have this car fixed. Don't worry about it. I will do that. (He puts his arms spread on the bonnet) You will be al right, my sweet little car. Then Michelle walks outside... Michelle: Whoa baby! What happened to that car ? Stephanie: I had a little accident. Michelle: Stephanie, please don't do that again. Dad will take your license from you. And that will be bad. Stephanie: Yes, I guess so. I can't go to school by car then. Michelle: And you know what's worse ? You can't take me to the mall. But what I came for. We got the tape out of the camera. Do you want to have a look ? Michelle walks inside, followed by Stephanie and Joey. They walk into the living room, where Jesse is sitting on the couch with Nicky and Alex. Aaron and Derek are standing next to the television.... Michelle: Al right, have a seat and watch this very carefully. It's very educating. Derek starts the tape, Joey and Stephanie sit down next to Jesse... Michelle: Okay. You first see the monkey. Jesse: That's clear to me. But why did you have to go to the zoo to tape Joey ? Michelle: (Looking surprised, moves her head to the screen) I guess I made a little mistake. The camera wasn't in the right position I think. Nicky: Joey, did you also play in King Kong ? Alex: Or in Tarzan, the apeman ? Jesse: (Laughing) Joseph, I have to say. I don't see the difference between a real monkey and you. Look those arm movements. Stephanie: Very natural, yes. Michelle: Let's see what's after this. (She winds the tape in the VCR) Okay, let's see here. Oh yeah, here Joey starts his impression of an elephant. Derek: Something says me we are insulting an innocent citizen. Nicky: Is that lady really 600 pounds ? Michelle: Oh no. Not again. Jesse: Well, the comments are right with this picture. Stephanie: Very well chosen, Joey. Alex: Michelle, do you want to be a camerawoman later ? Michelle: I don't think so. Nicky: (Gazing) Daddy, what are they doing ? Jesse: Something you are not allowed to do son. Alex: I think they are playing a game. Stephanie: They are. Snooker. He even took his own balls with him. Jesse, Joey, Stephanie, Michelle, Derek and Aaron start laughing very loud... Alex: What's so funny ? Michelle: That elephant can't play snooker. He puts the cue in the hole in stead of the balls. All except the twins start laughing again... Nicky: Come on, brother. Let's go upstairs. They are nuts. Alex: I'm coming. This is boring. The boys walk up the stairs to the attic.... Derek: Well, I guess we can forget this video for our presentation tomorrow. Aaron: Yeah. I knew it was a bad idea to let you handle the camera. Michelle: Aaron, the last time you did it, you forgot to take the lid of the lens. Then Becky and Danny walk in... Danny: (Walking to Stephanie) Thank god, you're al right. You came home safely. Stephanie: Dad there's something I have to tell you. Danny: What ? Stephanie: Well, how will I put it ? You see, I drove in Joey's car and.... Michelle: She had an accident. Stephanie: Thank you very much Michelle. Michelle: You're welcome. Danny: You what ? Stephanie: Hey, it was not my fault. Another driver was driving on my side of the road. Danny: That Mr. Cooper was right. Driving teenagers are very dangerous. Stephanie, give me your drivers license. I will keep it for you till you're thirty or something. Stephanie: Dad, stop threading me like a little baby. Tomorrow I will be 17 years old. She walks up the stairs, half crying. The others all look at Danny... Danny: What ? Becky: Very subtle. Michelle: Dad, did you have to do that ? Jesse: Michelle is right, Danny. You were a little too hard to Stephanie. Michelle: And to me. Danny: To you ? Michelle: Yes. Who will drive me to the mall now ? We find DJ and Steve still in the do-it-yourself-store... DJ: Steve, what do you think about this curtains ? Steve: With flowers ? DJ: Yes. Steve: I like this curtains more. DJ: Steve, why on earth do you want curtains with hamburgers on it ? Steve: I like the sight of it. Now they get talking very fast DJ: Steve, we will take the flowers. Steve: Hamburgers. DJ: Flowers. Steve: Hamburgers. DJ: Hamburgers. Steve: Flowers. DJ: Steve, did you say flowers ? Steve: Deej, did you say hamburgers ? DJ: We both said the wrong thing then. Steve: Well, when that's cleared up, we can go on. Hamburgers. DJ: Flowers. Kimmy: (Walking by) Socks. DJ: Hi Kimmy. Kimmy: Did I guess right ? Steve: Huh? Kimmy: You were guessing words. DJ: No, we were just arguing. What brings you here ? Kimmy: I am looking for some paint. My dad is going to paint the whole house. DJ: He is ? Kimmy: Yes. It's his new hobby. Steve: Is he going to paint the inside or the outside ? Kimmy: The outside of course. Steve: That will be a big job then. Is he using ladders ? Kimmy: No, of course not. The easel is only one meter high. Well, I have to go now, bye. (She walks away) Steve: Where were we ? DJ: We were fighting about nothing. Steve, let's take the flowers. Steve: No, I see a much better pattern. DJ: Pizza's ? Steve: No, circus. I used to love it when I was little. DJ: Steve, that looks really nice. We will take that one. We find Stephanie sitting on her bed when somebody knocks at the door... Stephanie: Who is it ? Danny: It's me. Can I come in ? Stephanie: Sure. Stephanie: I guess so. Danny: I'm sorry for that. You see, I also had this problem with DJ. I think it's just hard to let you go. I mean, I am afraid something happens to you. I guess I might have something to do with what happened to your mother 12 years ago. It could happen to you. Stephanie: Dad, mom wasn't even driving a car. Danny: I know. But I'm just scared you know. Scared of losing you when I let you use a car. Stephanie: You got over it with DJ too. Danny: Yes, I learned to accept it, but I still have the feeling she shouldn't be allowed to drive. Stephanie: Dad, I understand that you are trying to protect me, but you can go too far. Danny: Do you think I was overdoing it ? Stephanie: Yes I do. Danny: I'm sorry, Steph. And I know it's going much too far if I would take your license. It wouldn't just make you feel bad, it also would make Michelle feel bad. Stephanie: So I can drive ? Danny: Yes you can. On one condition. Next time I will go with you. Just show me what a good driver you can become. They hug.... Stephanie: Thanks dad. Danny: If you would excuse me, I have something to do now. Danny walks out of Stephanie's room. He walks to the living room.... Danny: Jesse, can you come with me for a moment ? Jesse: Sure. What's going on ? Danny: I want to buy Stephanie's birthday present, and I need your advise. Danny and Jesse leave the house... Derek: I think it's time to go now. We will see you tomorrow. Michelle: Okay. Bye. Aaron: See ya tomorrow. I hope not. Becky: Wow, what a nice kid. Joey: Well, I go to my room now. I have to practise my act for next week. Wait, I have to think up my act. Do you know how hard it is to practise something that you didn't make up yet? Joey walks upstairs.... That night we find Jesse in the garage when DJ and Steve walk in... DJ: You already started ? Jesse: I'm only taking measurements now. Steve: Can I help too ? Jesse: Do you have any experience with building ? Steve: Yes I have. I can build very solid houses. DJ: You can ? Show me. Steve: Okay. Just give me some cards. Jesse: No, I meant real building. A house, a garage... Steve: I made a basket for our garden once. DJ: Uncle Jesse, how long will it take before you're finished ? Jesse: I think it will take about 3 or 4 months. And then it will be ready. Steve: I hope you don't take that wall out before the new room is finished ? It will be very cold at night then. Jesse: I will just break a piece out of it to place a door. DJ: Look what we bought today. Curtains, paint and wallpaper. Jesse: You are really quick with all of this. DJ: I know. But I don't wan to be late with all of this too. Steve: Okay, let's get something to eat now. DJ: Steve, we just stopped somewhere to eat some pizza's. Steve: But we didn't have desert. DJ: Well, I guess there will be some ice cream in the freezer. Steve: No, I was more thinking of a hamburger. Jesse: Well, that will be nice. DJ: What will ? Jesse: Well, in a few months you will start eating more and more too, DJ. I wonder how your dad wants to store everything then. The next morning we find Stephanie lying in her bed when the others walk in.... All (except Stephanie): (Singing) Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you... Stephanie: Huh ? Danny: Happy birthday, sweetheart. Stephanie: Thanks. Michelle: Here's my present. Stephanie: Thanks. What is it ? Michelle: Open it and you will know. Stephanie opens the present... Stephanie: Thanks Michelle, what is it ? Michelle: It's a computer game. I think it's fun, so can I borrow it now ? I want to play it. Nicky: We have something for your too. (He gives a present with Alex) Stephanie: (Opening the present) Wow, thanks. A new address book. I needed that. The others give their presents too and Stephanie opens them all. But she didn't get something from Danny... Danny: I'm sorry, Steph, but I don't have anything for you now. Stephanie: Why not ? Danny: Because it will be delivered this afternoon. Stephanie: What is it ? Danny: I don't tell you. Stephanie: Okay. Michelle, Nicky, Alex, what is it ? Michelle: We don't tell you. Stephanie: You will get cookies and ice cream. Alex: Okay. It's a ca.... Jesse: Quiet! You almost gave it away. Stephanie: A ca... karate video ? Jesse: You're good, how did you know ? Stephanie: Just a wild guess. But does nobody want to tell me ? All (except Stephanie): No! Stephanie: How rude! Danny: Just wait till this afternoon and you will know. That afternoon, we find Danny, Joey, Jesse and Becky in the living room, as Michelle comes in... Michelle: Guess what ? We got a B+ for our project. The teacher thought it was very funny with Joey as monkey and the lady as the elephant. Jesse: Did your teacher notice a difference then ? Michelle: Yes he did. The monkey was behaving more human. All laugh.... Joey: Well, I guess you are a good camerawoman after all then ? Michelle: I guess so. Then the door opens and Stephanie and Gia walk in... Gia: Hello you all! Stephanie: Okay, where's my present dad ? Danny: It has not arrived yet. Gia: I think he ordered a pie or something. Then here a car horn outside... Danny: I guess your present has arrived. All walk to the door and go outside... Stephanie: Where is it ? Danny: Over there. Stephanie: Is that for me ? Dad, tell me I'm not dreaming. Danny: You're not dreaming. Stephanie: Wow, my own car. It's beautiful. Thank you dad, this is the greatest birthday present ever. But are you sure you want to give me this ? Danny: I am pretty sure I do. DJ got her first car from me, and now you have one too. Stephanie: Can I drive with it now ? Just to try out how the car feels ? Danny: Sure you can. Gia: I will come with you. Michelle: Me too. The three girls walk to the car and get in. Stephanie starts the engine and she drives away.. Becky: So that's why Jesse had to come with you ? Danny: Yes. When I should pick a car my own, it would be bad. Jesse: He bought one once. Joey: You mean that old station wagon ? Jesse: Yes I do. Danny: Hey, I couldn't help it. How was I supposed to know I had to check if there was an engine under the bonnet ? Then Stephanie drives around the corner and parks the car ... Danny: (Walks to the car) You're back soon. Stephanie: Dad, it feels great. But now it's time to eat some pie. Nicky: Good idea! Alex: Double good idea! DJ: (Walks outside)I don't know if anyone wants some pie, but both Steve and the pie have disappeared. I have a feeling... Danny: Oh no, let's find him before it's too late. Alex: Before what's too late ? Becky: Before Steve has eaten all the pie. Nicky: Shame on him. Alex: Let's find him. All walk inside. Stephanie stays in the car... Gia: Steph, are you coming ? Stephanie: You go, I'll be there in five minutes. Gia: Okay. Gia walks to the door, Stephanie stays in the car, with her hand on the wheel. Stephanie: Yes! (She clenches her fist and pulls her arm backwards) Full House - The new stories Episode 12 (204)- Hit The Road, Steph! It's almost Stephanie's 17th birthday and she finally has her drivers license. When she borrows Joey's car, she clashes to a tree. DJ and Steve are shopping for the baby room. Main characters:
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