Fan Fiction - Written by Martin van Dam - Season 9

Episode (9.01) 193 * Back To The House
Written by: Martin van Dam

4 months after the last time we met the Tanner family. Steve is looking for a new home, and DJ is also looking for a place of her own. Stephanie and Michelle argue about who will get her room. Meanwhile, Nicky and Alex wreck Jesse's guitar.

It's September 27, 1995 and we find Michelle Tanner, aged 8, and her 3 year old cousins Nicky and Alex in the kitchen of 1882 Gerard Street in San Francisco.
"Boys, today I'm going to teach you how to count." Michelle said to them.
"But we already can," Nicky answered.
"We go to school, remember!" Alex added.
Michelle smiles as she takes three biscuits out of a jar and puts them on the table in front of them.
"Okay boys, then show me your counting skills. There's three cookies on the table. Now, if II would eat one, how many will be left?" Michelle takes one biscuit and holds it in her hand.
Nicky and Alex look at each other, shaking their heads.
"We don't know," Alex says.
His brother nods. "We never learned to count cookies. Our teacher used apples."
As Alex stands up, he grabs one of the biscuits from the table. "We can't count them, but we can eat them."
Nicky follows the example set by his twin brother. The boy run out of the kitchen with a biscuit in their hand. They leave Michelle behind in the kitchen. She shakes her head and smiles.
"I taught them well," she says, before she eats the cookie in her hand.

- Intro -

Danny Tanner is sitting in the living room. The front door opens and his eldest daughter DJ, aged 18, walks in. Danny puts down his newspaper, walks to his daughter and hugs her.
"Dad, what are you doing?" DJ asks.
"I haven't had a chance to hug you in a long time," Danny responds, "You're away so often."
"Dad, I was here yesterday evening. Remember we watched that home video you made of Michelle last summer?"
Danny nods. He remembers the video of his youngest daughter. In may, she fell of her horse and lost her memory for a couple of days. It got Danny so worried about her, that he wouldn't leave her alone for long. And every day he took his camera with him, to film his daughter.
DJ is sitting on the couch and invites her father to sit down next to her.
"Dad, I think we need to talk."
Danny nervously sits down. "What's wrong, honey?"
DJ sighs. She looks down at her folded hands and tries to find the best words to break the news carefully to her father.
"Dad, I... No, let me... You know... No, wait. Gee, this is so hard."
Danny puts his hand on DJ's shoulder. "Honey, you know you can tell me everything, don't you?"
DJ nods. "Dad, remember last week I told you that Steve's landlord is selling the apartment?"
"Yes, he was pretty upset when he came over to tell us. I had to refill the refrigerator after he left."
"Well, Steve and I have been discussing the situation and we also want to be closer together. You know, since Kimmy brought us back together, I know Steve is the one for me."
Nervously Danny looks at his daughter. "Deej, you are not thinking of moving in with him, do you? You're much too young for that."
DJ smiles. "You and mom were about our age, weren't you?"
Danny sighs. "Honey, that was different. We were married."
"Steve and I could get..."
Danny interrupts her. "Don't marry him right now,"
DJ smiles. "Don't worry, dad, we are not planning to do so yet. And we also don't want to move in together. But we do want to be closer to each other. So we're thinking of both going to find a room at the campus."
Danny stands up. "On campus? DJ, you go to Berkely. You can easily commute there, so why..."
DJ shrugs. "Dad, please. I'm 18 years old. Maybe it's time I moved out. And I can, no I will come over as much as I can."
Danny sits down again. "I don't know, honey, I..."
DJ stands up and puts a kiss on her father's forehead. "I love you dad. Maybe we should both let this idea sink in and talk about it later." She walks up the stairs and leaves Danny behind with a nervous look on his face.

On the attic of the house, Nicky and Alex Katsopolis are playing in the apartment of their parents Jesse, Danny's brother-in-law and Becky. Alex holds his father's guitar.
"I'm a rock star," he says to his brother.
"Me too," Nicky grabs the other end of the guitar.
"Hey, I was first. Let go!" Alex shouted at his brother.
"No, I want to play with the guitar."
Alex smiles. "Okay, you play with it first." He lets go of the guitar, which now is being held only by Nicky. The latter jumps on the bed, and pretends he's playing the instrument while he keeps jumping. Alex jumps next to him and grabs the guitar.
"Hey, you said I could play with it first."
"You already played, now it's my turn."
"No way." Nicky pulls at the guitar and Alex lets go. The instrument swings to one side of Nicky, who loses his balance and falls backwards. He loses his grip to the guitar, which flies through the room and smashes against the wall.
"Oh oh," the boys simultaneously say.
At that moment, Becky walks into the room.
"Boys, why don't I like the sound of that 'oh oh!'?" As she walks into the room, she sees the broken guitar on the floor. "That's a really big oh oh, boys."
With a guilty look on his face, Alex puts his arms around his mothers leg.
"Will daddy be angry now?" he asks.
Becky sighs. "Well, boys. Some might call it angry. Others will think he went psycho."

Stephanie, aged 13, and her younger sister Michelle are in the kitchen.
While drinking her orange jus, Stephanie says:"When DJ moves out, I will move into her room."
"Why don't I get it?" Michelle sounds bemused by the suggestion of her sister.
"Well, I will be the eldest daughter living in the house then, so I will have first choice."
Michelle shakes her head. "You might be older, but I'm smarter than you."
Stephanie laughs sarcastically and shakes her head. "You're a funny girl, Michelle."
Michelle grins. "Well thank you. And I'm smarter."
"Proof it." Stephanie replies.
"How would I do that?" Michelle asks.
"You tell me."
Michelle ponders for a moment. Then she looks at her sister. "Let's have a quiz. Someone asks us questions, and the first to give a wrong answer loses."
Stephanie grins. "That's too easy for me to win. But count me in. The winner gets DJ's room."
The kitchen door opens and Kimmy Gibbler, the best friend of DJ, living next door to the Tanners, walks in. "Howdy goofballs."
"Now there's someone you would beat," Stephanie says.
"What contest?" Kimmy looks confused. "The Gibbler sock smelling contest is weeks away. I am practicing though. I haven't washed my feet for three days now. You want to smell?"
Stephanie and Michelle squeeze their nose with their thumb and index finger.
"Eew!" They say to each other.
"Kimmy," Stephanie continues, "Michelle and I are having a contest to see which one of us is smarter. And that's something you would even lose from Comet."
"No I won't!" Kimmy answers.
Michelle calls Comet, and seconds later the golden retriever walks into the kitchen.
"Let's put it to the test," Michelle says, "Whoever answers the next question correct, wins."
Kimmy smiles. "That dog is not smarter than me."
Michelle looks at Comet and Kimmy and then asks: "How much is three minus two?"
Kimmy starts pondering. "Is that with socks or shoes?"
Stephanie replies. "It's with numbers."
"Numbers? I can't count with numbers," Kimmy says.
Michelle repeats her question. "How much is three minus two? I want an answer now."
Comet barks one time.
"Well done, boy. The answer is one."
Kimmy looks jealously at the dog. "He must have cheated."
"Are you calling Comet a cheat?" Stephanie says. "On behalf of Comet: how rude!"

In the living room, DJ is sitting on the couch, while she's calling her boyfriend Steve.
"We'll find a solution." She keeps quiet for a few seconds. "Yes, I love you too. See you later."
"Hey Deej," Kimmy says, entering from the kitchen, "Found a place of your own yet?"
"Steve has an option for a room on campus. But I'm still looking."
"You can live with us," Kimmy replies, "my mom is trying to catch that rat now, so if she catches it, you won't have a roommate. Well, except for those bats we think live there."
DJ smiles. "No thank you."
"Well, it's your choice. Maybe we should make it Duane's room then. He's moving in with us."
"He's moving in with you?"
"Well, I think so. I asked him if he thought it was a good idea and he said 'whatever' so I didn't hear any objections from him."
"But he didn't agree with it either, did he?"
Kimmy ponders for a moment before she answers. "Well, technically not, but... whatever."
"I can see his influence on you there."

Stephanie and Michelle enter the attic of the house, where Becky is sitting on the bed with the broken guitar in her hand.
"Aunt Becky, can you help us with a bet we made? We..."
Stephanie and Michelle look shocked when they see the guitar in Becky's hands. "Whoa baby!" they say together.
"Well girls, I'm having a small problem of my own as you can see." Becky looks troubled.
"Uncle Jesse will freak out when he sees his guitar. What happened?" Stephanie asks.
"It broke when the boys were playing with it."
Michelle turns to Nicky and Alex and waves her finger at them. "You're in big trouble, misters!"
"Do you girls have any ideas what to do?"
"The boys could move to Mexico, like I tried when I broke the kitchen wall," Stephanie answers.
"Or you could take it to the instrument maker down town. Maybe he can fix it." Michelle adds.
Becky nods. "That's not a bad idea. But how do we hide it from your uncle Jesse?"
Michelle shrugs. "I don't know..."
Stephanie interrupts her. "Did you say you don't know? That means I won the bet!"
"That didn't count," Michelle sounds indignant. "Do you know how to hide this then?"
"No, I don't know either," Stephanie responds, "but I was smart enough to not speak out."
"Well, it's not a fair win."
Stephanie sighs. "Okay, I'll give you another chance."
"Well, if that's settled, can we go back to the guitar problem please?" Becky asks. "Jesse said he would be home around five, so that gives us roughly two hours to find a solution."
"Maybe dad can help." Stephanie suggests.
"That's not a bad idea." Becky stands up. At the stairs, she turns around. "Boys, you stay here and don't touch anything."
Nicky and Alex sit down on the couch with their hands folded.
"Yes mummy, we will be good." Nicky says.
"We won't break anything else," Alex says with a guilty tone in his voice.

DJ enters Steve's apartment.
"Hey Deej, I wasn't expecting you yet," Steve says when he sees her. "Remember that room I told you about? My contact just called to say they found someone else for that room."
DJ hugs Steve. "I'm sorry. Which other options do you have?"
Steve sighs. "Let's see, I could move back in with my parents."
"But they moved to Seattle. You can't travel to college every day from there."
Steve throws his hands into the air. "It's the last option I have right now. How did your father respond to the news you want to move out?"
"He wasn't too happy, just like I expected. He had this sad look in his eyes."
Steve puts his arm around her shoulder. "I remember my parents weren't happy when I moved out either. They were so desperate to keep me at home, that they even offered me to rent my own room in their house."
DJ sits down on Steve's couch. "Kimmy's basement is available."
Steve shivers. "DJ, I can't move in with the Gibblers. They throw their food around the kitchen."
DJ smiles. "And you can't eat from their floor like you can at our..." DJ thinks for a moment. "Steve, that's it. I think I found a solution."
Steve starts to smile. "Order pizza? Great idea."
"No, I have another idea."
"Well, I still like the idea of pizza as well." He takes his phone and starts to dial.

Jesse Katsopolis and his friend Joey Gladstone walk around on a toys fair.
"Jesse, thank you so much for taking me with you. All these toys. It's like heaven for me!"
Jesse smiles. "I didn't think I would survive this without a toys expert by my side. And I'm glad one of us is enjoying himself. The only reason I'm here is winning that quiz in the newspaper."
Joey puts his hand on Jesse's shoulder. "Jesse, I don't believe you if you say you don't like anything here."
"Well, I like the free parking." Jesse replies.
Joey runs towards a stand with mini cars. "Jess, look at this. Aren't these mini jeeps great?"
"Joey, those things aren't built to carry you."
"I know. I meant for the boys."
"Joey, did you see the price of these cars? That's more than the amount I won to spend here. And besides, the boys don't have their driver's license yet.
"Jesse, does cars aren't real. They can safely drive them in the house." Joey explains.
Jesse shakes his head. "No, my boys...." Something else attracts his attention. "Look at those mini bikes. Now that's something my boys can use. I wish I had one of these when I was young. Look at those, they're amazing, I..." Jesse looks around and sees people staring at him. "What's wrong with you? Have you never seen someone getting a little excited before?"
"Jess, that was not a little excited. That was comparable with Danny who found out Ajax had improved the lemon freshness of their formula."
Jesse straightens his jacket. "It was that bad? But Joseph, look at those bikes."
"Jesse, these are even more expensive than the jeeps."
"Well, if the boys have one of these, they will look cool. And as they are my sons, I won't allow them to be uncool."
"Well, mister Cool, it's a good thing you brought me with you then. You see, I am an experienced toy shopper, so I have the experience to control myself here." He looks away and sees something he likes. "O my god! Do you see those Daffy bath ducks? I have to have one. "
Joey runs away and pulls Jesse with him. He grabs a bath duck and then notices something else. "Jess, this really is heaven. Look there, puppet theatres. I've always wanted to have one of those. Can I have one, please? Pretty please? I will clean my own room for a month if I can have one of those!." Joey folds his hands and looks at Jesse with a sad puppy look in his eyes.
Jesse grins. "Well, you already are a Muppet, so why not. But you will clear the dish washer tonight, young man."
Joey hugs Jesse. "Thank you so much. Can I borrow fifty bucks from you to buy it?"
Jesse pushes Joey away. "Only if you let go of me now. There's people staring at us again."

Danny, Becky, Stephanie and Michelle are in the living room of the Tanner house. The broken guitar lies on the table.
Danny Tanner shakes his head. "I think this should be brought very gently to Jesse."
"I know. He loves that instrument so much." Becky sighs.
"Who's going to tell uncle Jesse?" Michelle asks.
Stephanie looks at her little sister with a twinkle in her eyes. "Michelle, did I sense a question there? Which would mean you don't know something?"
"Asking questions was not part of our deal. Did you really think I'd fall for that?" Michelle replies.
Stephanie shrugs. "It was worth a try."
"What deal? What are you girls up to?" Danny asks his daughters.
"We made a bet," Stephanie replies.
"A bet? About what?" Danny looks from one girl to another.
"About who's the smartest. The winners gets DJ's room after she moved out."
"What? You are fighting about who gets DJ's room while she isn't even gone yet? Girls, she still lives here. This bet is off." Danny has a severe tone in his voice. "I'm a little disappointed in you."
"We're sorry, dad. Michelle, you heard it, the bet is off." Stephanie says.
"Okay. But I'm still smarter than you."
"No you're not!"
"Girls, hold it! Let's settle this argument, please. I will quiz you both. But I don't want to hear anything about DJ's room, understood?"
Stephanie and Michelle nod.
"You got it dude!" Michelle says."
Becky stands up and grabs the guitar. "I better put this away before Jesse gets home."

Later that day, Jesse and Joey walk into through the front door.
"Guys, we're back!" Jesse shouts.
"And we brought some cool stuff!" Joey adds.
Danny, Becky and the twins run in from the kitchen. A little later Stephanie and Michelle come down the stairs.
"Look at this, my own puppet theatre!' Joey has put the wooden theatre in the living room. "I am going to test this one out right away!" He grabs the theatre and walks up the stairs.
Jesse kneels down in front of Nicky and Alex.
"Boys, I've got a big surprise for you!" Jesse walks outside and comes in with the two mini bikes.
"Jess, what are those?" Becky asks.
"Mini motorcycles. Aren't they great?" Jesse beams.
"Don't you think they are a little young for a motorcycle?"
"No, Becky. Not for these. They have a top speed of two miles per hour. O, and I bought this training wheels I will put on there for them."
Nicky climbs on a bike. "Thank you daddy."
"You know what would make this even better? If they wore leather jackets." Michelle says.
"Great idea. Becky, remember we buy them those jackets next time we're in the mall."
"Daddy, does this mean you're not mad at us?" Alex asks with a soft voice.
Jesse's smile turns into a serious face. " Why would I be mad at you?"
"Because we broke your guitar," Alex says.
Jesse shakes his head. "Boys, why would I be mad because you broke... my guitar?"
"He's taking it well," Stephanie says to Michelle.
Jesse stands up. "Where's my guitar?"
Becky fakes a smile. "It's in the cupboard."
Jesse opens the cupboard and gets his wrecked guitar out of it. He rocks it in his arm and strokes it. "My poor baby, what have they done to you?"
Danny walks to Jesse and puts his hand on his shoulder. "Jesse, why don't you buy a new one?"
Jesse looks at Danny. "Buy a new one? Danny, I love this guitar. I've had it for so many years and we've been through so much together." He strokes the guitar again. "You poor thing."
"Maybe the damage can be repaired," Stephanie says.
"Have you seen this? There's chips of wood missing, and the only thing keeping the wood together, are the strings." Jesse replies.
"If you don't try it, you won't know it," Michelle responds.
"You're right. I'm taking this baby to the instrument maker." Jesse stands up and walks to the door, with the guitar in his hands. Just before he leaves the house, he turns around. "Boys, when I get home, I want to have a word with you. And you can forget about those leather jackets."
Nicky and Alex look at the ground.
"Don't worry boys, I'll talk to him when he gets home." Becky hugs the twins.

DJ and Steve are sitting on his couch.
"What do you think of my idea?" DJ asks.
"I don't know," Steve answers, "It could work, but I'm sure there must be other options."
"Look, if you don't want it, it's okay. And it doesn't have to be permanent. And my dad has to approve it as well."
"Yeah, you're right. It's better than nothing." Steve nods.
"I'm sure that if this goes through, you won't regret it." DJ kisses Steve.
"I know. I mean, there's always a full refrigerator."
DJ smiles. "Come on, let's discuss this with my dad."
The doorbell rings.
"No, wait, I can't do this right now, Deej."
DJ sits down again. "Why not?"
Steve walks to the door. "The pizza guy just arrived."

Stephanie and Michelle are sitting on the couch, while Danny sits in the chair, holding an encyclopedia. "I'll ask you a few questions. The one with most correct answers, wins the quiz."
"And thus is the smarter one," Michelle responds.
"We'll see, honey," Danny says.
Danny leafs through the encyclopedia until he finds a suitable page.
"Okay, the first question. Name as many of the seven wonders of the world, as you can."
Stephanie and Michelle start writing. Danny looks at his watch. When a minute has passed, he tells the girls to stop writing.
"Give me your papers. Let's see how you've done."
Danny reads the sheet of paper Michelle handed him. When he's finished, he looks up. "Michelle, ice cream and cookies are no wonders of the world."
"They aren't?" Michelle looks surprised.
"No, honey. And neither are television, candy, Tom Cruise and holidays." Danny smiles. "Now, let's have a look at the answers Stephanie gave."
"Wait, you named only six answers from Michelle. What was number seven?" Stephanie asks.
"Me, of course!" Michelle responds.
"You put your own name on that list?" Stephanie starts laughing.
Danny continues with Stephanie's answers. "Okay, let's see what you wrote down, Stephanie. The pyramids of Egypt, the Lighthouse of Alexandria, the hanging gardens of Babylon, the Colossus of Rhodes, the statue of Zeus, The mausoleum of Artemisia and mister Bear?"
"You think mister Bear is a wonder of the world?" Now Michelle starts laughing. "And how did you make up those other things?"
"Last month I learned about these wonders in history class," Stephanie says, "And mister Bear happens to be a very wonderful person."
"You've got six of them right," Danny says, "so Stephanie gets the point for this question."
"So, who's smart now?" Stephanie asks triumphant.
Michelle shakes her head. "You were lucky there. That list is just silly."
Danny closes the encyclopedia. "Girls, I think this whole idea is silly. You're both beautiful and smart girls. So why fight over who's smarter than the other?"
Stephanie and Michelle look at each other.
"Dad is right," Stephanie says, "In fact, I don't really care if you're smarter than me."
"Me neither," Michelle ponders, "You're my big sister, so you should be wiser than me."
"Come here little sis," Stephanie says, and she hugs Michelle.
Danny proudly watches his daughters. "That's what I like to see."
Stephanie and Michelle look at each other and with a sisterly understanding and without saying a word, they stand up from the couch and hug Danny.

It's just after dinner, and Danny, Joey, Stephanie, Michelle, Becky and the twins are just cleaning the table, when Jesse walks in through the kitchen door.
"Jess, where have you been?" Becky asks.
"After my visit to the instrument maker, I went for a ride on my bike." Jesse says.
"What did the instrument maker say?" Danny asks.
"The guitar can't be repaired. And for telling me that, he charged me fifty bucks."
"We're sorry, daddy." Alex says.
"You can have our piggy banks." Nicky says.
Jesse walks to the living room.
"Come here, boys, I want to talk to you."
Nicky and Alex follow their father. They all sit down on the couch.
"Boys, you know you can't play with my guitar, don't you?"
Nicky and Alex nod and simultaneously answer. "Yes daddy."
"Well, I've been thinking. I'm not happy with what you did, but it was just a guitar. It could also have been one of you that got hurt. And that would be much worse than a broken guitar. I can buy a new guitar, but the two of you are irreplaceable."
"So you're not mad at us?"
"Maybe I was a little disappointed in you, but I will always love you. You know that, right?"
"We love you too," Nicky says. His brother repeats his words.
"Come here then, and give your old man a hug."
The boys hug Jesse. Becky stands at the kitchen door and smiles.

DJ and Steve come in through the front door. In the living room Jesse watches the twins ride their mini motor cycles and Danny, Stephanie and Michelle are watching television.
"Guys, Steve and I have an announcement to make." DJ says.
Danny looks worried at DJ. "Deej, please tell me you're not getting married."
"Steve still proposed ?" Stephanie runs to DJ. "Congratulations."
DJ shakes her head. "No. Steve didn't propose and we are not getting married. Well, not now."
"Thank god," Danny says."
"We came up with a solution for Steve's housing problem," DJ says.
"You are staying in San Francisco, aren't you?" Danny sounds worried again.
"Dad, I'll be as close to you as I can be. Steve can't find a room on campus, and I haven't found a suitable place either. So can't Steve move in here?"
Danny stands up. "Deej, where would he sleep? You know it won't be in your room."
DJ turns to Jesse. "Uncle Jesse, remember last month you said you were thinking about building a studio music in the Smash Club? That would mean the basement is empty. And Joey lived there for a couple of years, so with a little reconstructing, it could be an extra room." DJ explains.
"And I can pay rent," Steve adds.
"And you don't have to worry about Steve and me living in one house, as I'm upstairs and he's downstairs. And if there was a bathroom down there..."
"DJ, calm down," Danny and DJ sit down on the couch. "You're forgetting the basement is still your uncle Jesse's studio."
"Well, I had these plans to move it to the Smash Club," Jesse says, "having the studio there makes it easier to combine with my work, and I can still write songs on the attic of course."
"So, what do you think about it, dad? I would stay here for sure as well then."
Danny sighs. "If it's okay with your uncle Jesse, I think we can work something out."
DJ hugs Danny. "Thanks dad, you're the best."

Later that evening, we find Stephanie sitting on her bed, with her knees pulled up and her arms around them, when Michelle walks into their room.
"What are you doing here?" Michelle asks.
"I'm thinking. You know, ever since uncle Jesse and Joey moved in, this has been my room. I have so many memories here. I don't even know why I wanted DJ's room in the first place."
"I remember living there," Michelle responds, while she sits down next to Stephanie.
"Michelle, that was your room. So if DJ ever leaves, I think you should get her room."
"Do you mean that? I think that is a wise decision, so maybe you are smarter after all."
The girls laugh and hug again.
"Girls, are you coming? I put up a show with the puppet theatre." Joey asks from the hallway.
The girls follow Joey to his room. He gets behind the theatre, and the curtains open. Two puppets appear. One is carrying a broom, the other one a guitar.
"Hello, I am Danny," one of the puppets says," and I like to wax the floor."
"Hi I'm Jesse, and I like to wax my hair. Don't you think it looks great?" the other puppet says.
The other puppet's head moves up and down and then it says: "Did your hairdryer blow up?"
Jesse responds from the audience. "Hey, watch it. My hair is not something to joke about."
Everybody laughs, as they watch the rest of Joey's puppet show.

- End Tune -

Main Characters
Jesse Katsopolis
Danny Tanner
Joey Gladstone
DJ Tanner
Stephanie tanner
Michelle Tanner
Rebecca 'Becky' Donaldson-Katsopolis
Nicky Katsopolis
Alex Katsopolis
Kimmy Gibbler
Steve Hale

Guest characters:
none

Episode information:
Story written by: Martin van Dam
Based upon: The orignal series of Full House, created by Jeff Franklin
Lay-out: Martin van Dam